What's Up?

What's up? Well, a lot, actually! I've had so many things changing and happening the last few months and I suppose I was waiting until it all sort of slowed down to officially post about it all, but...life never slows down. At least not for me.

So, I suppose it's time to give a little update on my life and all the changes and happenings. First of all, my education is changing quite a bit. I'm no longer going to be going to the school I'm at now, and I've been accepted to a different college where they have a fashion merchandising program. I'll start that program this summer and I'm so excited to learn absolutely everything that I can about fashion to help my career.

As far as what I want to do, exactly, in the fashion industry...at this point, I'll take any of it! No, but really, I love the idea of working with department stores or boutiques or designers and helping with the merchandising of their products or resources. I'm not a designer, but I'd love to look into being a full time stylist as opposed to just the side work and weekend jobs I book for styling and personal shopping. I love styling for print work, but styling people for their everyday lives is so much fun for me, as well.

I was talking with someone who has hired me to do some personal shopping as a gift for his wife this Valentine's Day, and he said to me, "Why do you do this? Shopping is exhausting. Why would you want to do it for a living?" I laughed right out loud! Why wouldn't I? It's the kind of thing that I love to do for fun. If I could do it for a living, how could I not? We've all heard the quote that if you do what you love, you never work a day in your life. That's how I feel. Though I couldn't justify quitting my "real job" (I work at an HR company) because of the great benefits, (and honestly I really love my job!) looking toward doing something that I absolutely adore sounds so perfect to me. To be able to do a little of both? Doesn't get better than that.

There is a line in a song by Kip Moore when he says, "Happiness don't drag its feet and time moves faster than you think."

I've reached a point in my life, especially with the help and encouragement of my husband, where I just need to do what makes me happy. I don't have the time to wait around. Fashion and beauty and styling and makeup...those things are a blast for me. I've had concerns that working in the fashion or beauty industry would make people think I have less character, or that some people might not take me as seriously or think that I'm as educated or capable because I like clothes and shoes and makeup.

But then I thought, "Yeah, I don't care one little bit what you think."

My greatest joy in life are my two kids and my husband. But logistically and realistically, I have to focus my career around the other things in my life that make me happy, and I know that doesn't make me any less of a wife, a mother or a woman.

Why not do what makes me happy? And not just do what makes me happy, but do it and be proud of it. So that's where I'm at.

So I guess, that's what's up.

-L

A Letter From a Working Mom

This letter originated in the personal journals I keep for my kids. You can read more about that here. I decided to take it from the pen to the computer screen.

Dear Babies,

Sometimes, I have to leave you. More mornings than not, you are sad not to have morning snuggles and you are wanting for a slower routine.

I can't give that to you.

Sometimes, you cry when we go our separate ways each day, holding out your sweet arms for me and telling me you don't want me to leave.

I can't stay with you.

Sometimes, I look at the clock about mid day, and I realize you've had your lunch already, and you're probably going down for your nap. You're holding your sippy and you're snuggling your blanket.

I can't be there with you.

Sometimes, I wonder if you've fallen down today while riding a scooter or jumping from a swing. I wonder if you cried.

I can't kiss your "owies".

Sometimes, I text your babysitter just to tell her I miss you or ask her how you're doing. I love her, because she loves you. I love her, because she takes care of you when I can't. I love her because you love her. Each day, I give her the most important pieces of my life, and she loves you while I am away.

I can't thank her enough for that.

Sometimes, I feel bad for being away from you most days. I feel bad because I worry that you don't understand. That you don't know that if I could, I would be with you every minute. But our family doesn't work that way. Your daddy and I are away from you during the day because we love you so much, and we know that we need to take care of you.

I can't help that.

Babies, please know that when I'm away from you, you are always on my mind.

In the morning, when I stop for gas or a drink and I open up my wallet, I see you. I think of you, and I miss you.

When I sit down in my office at work, I see you. I smile, and I'm proud of you. I'm happy to show any and everyone who walks into my office that you are mine. You are perfect.

When I pull out my phone at lunchtime to talk to your dad for a minute, there you are. I see you.

Long after you go to sleep at night, when I sit down at the desk to do my homework, write, get caught up on emails, finish things up for work the next day, etc. I look over and I see you.

Babies, I'm sorry for all of the "can't". But though I miss you throughout the days that I can't be with you, know that I work hard because I love you. I realize that a lot of your friends have mommies or daddies that get to stay home with them all day long. Our family isn't that way, but we love you just as much as any mommy or daddy ever could.

Know that I want what's best for you. I might be sad to be away from you, sad when you reach for me and I have to leave, sad for the naps I don't get to put you down for or the lunches I don't get to feed you, but I'm at peace knowing that you're in good hands, and I am at peace because it is all because I love you.

I'm at peace, because this is the very best I can do.

I treasure the few days a week that I get to wake up and snuggle you, get to see your sweet faces marked with blanket and pillow lines after your nap, get to smile at the static in your crazy pig tails after you rolled around and played on the floor, and get to put Monsters Inc or Angry Bird bandaids on your owies.

Sometimes, I can't always be there. But I see you wherever I go, and I love you.

Love,
Mommy

There They Go

Every  morning, we go our separate ways. For a few hours, mom and dad go to work, and they aren't with us. They come back to me at the end of every day just a little bit wiser, a little bit smarter, a little bit different. We say goodbye in the mornings, and my little army of Hall babies goes out and comes home understanding just that much more about the world.

Every morning, I think to myself, "There they go. Keep them safe."

This morning, as they left and I felt that all too familiar tug on my heart as we had hugs and kisses, I realized that it's pretty exceptional and amazing that I know they'll take good care of each other.

I'm the luckiest mom in the world that they are each other's best friend.

-L